For many years book shops have been my favorite hang out place... when i am sad, happy, excited, motivated, lost, confused or just to pass time... this is one place that has seen every side of me!
Today had some free time, walked into a book shop and while going through some new books, a quote on the wall caught my eyes:
"If you wait until you are sure, you will never take off your training wheels." - Unknown
That quote brought me to a conversation i had with someone few days back... this person said, "I don't know where my life is heading, I don't know what I am doing, ... ", just too many I don't knows...
Hhmm... do i really have answers for everything? I don't know... but one thing I do know, my position at this moment is perfect and there is no mistake in the Master's plan!
Recently I arrived at another cross-road in my life, a lot of questions came to me... when I am scared I cry and pray but at this stage, 'I don't know what to do...', I sleep, I clean and I re-organize :) and that's exactly what i did! So, after the 3rd day of sleeping, cleaning and re-organizing it finally sank into me... what am i thinking about?
You see 2 years ago, my mentor told me that the most important relationship in life is our relationship with our creator and if I get this relationship right, I have nothing to fear and this is the relationship that has to be on top of my priority list and I have to work on strengthening everyday! For some reason i believed my mentor so much that day and since than, have been working on this relationship.
I sat down, spoke to Him and told Him... if you have placed me here right now, this is where i belong... I have nothing to fear, i can't continue sleeping, cleaning and re-organizing, it's time to embrace my position and this gift of life that you have given me...
The moment I decided to embrace everything around me, suddenly the path looked clearer my vision got brighter, answers fell in place and I found that energy inside me again... that energy that gives you the feeling... everything is in flow! I sat in meetings today and before i even began, I know I have arrived :) here I am, this is where I belong!
Live Your Best Life
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Answers are found in steps...
This week the word 'passion' seem to have taken center stage in my life... somehow, have been engaging myself in conversations that have been provoking me to give this interesting word a little more thought than usual...
Few days back I had an interesting conversation with a dear friend. My friend said, I have lost my passion and I can't find it anymore and I don't know what to do... hhmm... this definitely sounds so familiar. Guess I have been on this road many times...
There is something about me... I always seem to find a way to renew my energy and this has been pretty consistent for last many years or as long as I can remember and many times I find people introducing me as a passionate person... I always hear people say, she is so passionate and you need to spend time with her!
I thought about it, probably the only thing that I do differently from many people, from time to time I seem to have something that keeps me on a high spirit... like these few months it has been my work outs in the gym and somehow, the more I see my body taking its shape :) I seem to get excited and many other aspect of my life also seem to be on a up lift! This excitement keeps me going... and this has been the case all the time, some how, some where, I will find something that excites me and my world lights up!
1 month back I got a little lazy... I wasn't so excited to pack my bags and show up in the gym every morning but I found a new project that got me so excited and in the midst of that excitement I found myself back in the gym :) I am not sure if you understand this but this is how i have kept myself going all this while...
So, back to my friend... I asked my friend to stop thinking about passion or what is right and wrong but just to take a step... it doesn't matter how small, right or wrong or perfect step... just take a step! No one figures out their passion or what they want by thinking... your answers are only revealed in taking steps! My friend gave me the look, what are you saying look! Yes, this is exactly what I am saying, take a step and you will get your answers... So, my friend picked up the phone an set a meeting for the next day... which he has not done for a month and I offered to sit in for the meeting!
When I met him again the next day, he told me I found some answers already, and I am feeling lighter... I just smiled and we continued our work and after the meeting I saw his eyes light up and all I had to say to him was - welcome back! He smiled and said... yes, I am back and I beginning to find my passion again :)
Guess this is how to some extend things work... you take steps, you get answers, you take more steps, some will be right some will be wrong, so what, just take the steps and in that steps you find your answers and let me remind you, you will most of the time take a step with something in your mind but than come out of it with a total different direction! Most importantly, answers are only found in taking steps and finally guess passion is all about action :)
Live Your Best Life
Few days back I had an interesting conversation with a dear friend. My friend said, I have lost my passion and I can't find it anymore and I don't know what to do... hhmm... this definitely sounds so familiar. Guess I have been on this road many times...
There is something about me... I always seem to find a way to renew my energy and this has been pretty consistent for last many years or as long as I can remember and many times I find people introducing me as a passionate person... I always hear people say, she is so passionate and you need to spend time with her!
I thought about it, probably the only thing that I do differently from many people, from time to time I seem to have something that keeps me on a high spirit... like these few months it has been my work outs in the gym and somehow, the more I see my body taking its shape :) I seem to get excited and many other aspect of my life also seem to be on a up lift! This excitement keeps me going... and this has been the case all the time, some how, some where, I will find something that excites me and my world lights up!
1 month back I got a little lazy... I wasn't so excited to pack my bags and show up in the gym every morning but I found a new project that got me so excited and in the midst of that excitement I found myself back in the gym :) I am not sure if you understand this but this is how i have kept myself going all this while...
So, back to my friend... I asked my friend to stop thinking about passion or what is right and wrong but just to take a step... it doesn't matter how small, right or wrong or perfect step... just take a step! No one figures out their passion or what they want by thinking... your answers are only revealed in taking steps! My friend gave me the look, what are you saying look! Yes, this is exactly what I am saying, take a step and you will get your answers... So, my friend picked up the phone an set a meeting for the next day... which he has not done for a month and I offered to sit in for the meeting!
When I met him again the next day, he told me I found some answers already, and I am feeling lighter... I just smiled and we continued our work and after the meeting I saw his eyes light up and all I had to say to him was - welcome back! He smiled and said... yes, I am back and I beginning to find my passion again :)
Guess this is how to some extend things work... you take steps, you get answers, you take more steps, some will be right some will be wrong, so what, just take the steps and in that steps you find your answers and let me remind you, you will most of the time take a step with something in your mind but than come out of it with a total different direction! Most importantly, answers are only found in taking steps and finally guess passion is all about action :)
Live Your Best Life
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Learning to elevate above my surroundings!
Last couple of days I found myself eating more then usual! Phew... what's this sudden urge for food? What am I fueling with all the food that I have been eating lately? I better stop eating or I am going to fall back to my old trap... hhmm... no no I am not falling back!
I took some time to think about it and I realized I have been so stressed last couple of days... not sure how to cope with it that I decided to distract my mind with food!
You see I moved out of my parents home when I was 17 years old. Since then I have been on my own till 10 years back my sister came to the city and we have been living together... but about a month back, I brought my parents to stay with me... you see having a sister around is like having your best friend with you but having your parents is a whole new world...
I must admit, i love my parents very much and for some time I have wanted them here with me and especially for my mum... i don't think anything else can make her happier then being here with us! The reality, having them here is not as simple as i anticipated... I just realized i have been away longer from them then I have stayed with them... today, I am different person, I like different things, I see things differently, I want my home to be organized differently... I like everything to be kept in a certain way etc...
Today I was in a meeting when my sister called and said mum is really not well... she can't walk and her feet is swollen... hhmm... my mum is 65 and she has been having diabetics for almost 22 years now and yesterday she got a bit excited and decided to over work herself! Usually when this happens, she gets bad body aches but this is the first time she can't walk...
I rushed back and I have been by her side the whole day... I realized I will not exchange anything else then this opportunity of having my parents with me and caring for them at this age... I don't know how long God has for us to live under one roof as a family one more time but I am going to treasure this moment to the fullest...
Now, back to my stress... I have no other choice then to learn to restructure the way I have been running my life... yes, things around have changed but I have to elevate above my surroundings and still shine like I have always done! I know it might not be that simple but I surely will pull through this phase and yes, back to gym tomorrow and back to monitoring what I eat :)
Live Your Best Life
I took some time to think about it and I realized I have been so stressed last couple of days... not sure how to cope with it that I decided to distract my mind with food!
You see I moved out of my parents home when I was 17 years old. Since then I have been on my own till 10 years back my sister came to the city and we have been living together... but about a month back, I brought my parents to stay with me... you see having a sister around is like having your best friend with you but having your parents is a whole new world...
I must admit, i love my parents very much and for some time I have wanted them here with me and especially for my mum... i don't think anything else can make her happier then being here with us! The reality, having them here is not as simple as i anticipated... I just realized i have been away longer from them then I have stayed with them... today, I am different person, I like different things, I see things differently, I want my home to be organized differently... I like everything to be kept in a certain way etc...
Today I was in a meeting when my sister called and said mum is really not well... she can't walk and her feet is swollen... hhmm... my mum is 65 and she has been having diabetics for almost 22 years now and yesterday she got a bit excited and decided to over work herself! Usually when this happens, she gets bad body aches but this is the first time she can't walk...
I rushed back and I have been by her side the whole day... I realized I will not exchange anything else then this opportunity of having my parents with me and caring for them at this age... I don't know how long God has for us to live under one roof as a family one more time but I am going to treasure this moment to the fullest...
Now, back to my stress... I have no other choice then to learn to restructure the way I have been running my life... yes, things around have changed but I have to elevate above my surroundings and still shine like I have always done! I know it might not be that simple but I surely will pull through this phase and yes, back to gym tomorrow and back to monitoring what I eat :)
Live Your Best Life
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
My world changes with my perspective
I just spent last 72 hours in the beautiful city of Medan in Indonesia working on a new business project. Like usual when ever I travel, just before i walk out of my house, I like to stare at my book shelves and pick some books that attracts me and this time I picked a beautiful book by one of my all time favorite author, Robin Sharma!
It has been a hectic 72 hours in Medan and usually at times like this by the time I get to my room I can only hear my bed calling my name out loud but this time I took Robin Sharma's book and flipped and came to a page that caught my attention...
Robin Sharma in his book, 'Who Will Cry When You Die?' wrote: To live happier, more fulfilling lives, when we encounter a difficult circumstances, we must keep shifting our perspective and continually ask ourselves, "Is there a wiser, more enlightened way of looking at this seemingly negative situation?" Stephen Hawking, one of the greatest physicists ever, is reported to have said that we live on a minor planet of a very average star located within the outer limits of one of the hundred thousand million galaxies. How's that for a shift in perspective? Given this information, are your troubles really that big? Are the problems you have experienced or the challenges you might currently be facing really as serious as you have made them out to be?
We walk this planet for such a short time. In the over all scheme of things, our lives are mere blips on the canvas of eternity. So have the wisdom to enjoy the journey and savor the process.
Hhmm... this paragraph brought me back many memories... to say that my life has no challenges, it is really far from the truth but I am relatively a happier person than many others most of the time! Then I realized when I am down, doesn't matter what the cause might be... I continuously seek a new perspective! I have been doing this without even realizing it.
A particular incident that happened like 5 years ago came back to me... there was a day I had a real huge fight with my sister. It went a bit out of control and harsh words were exchanged! She said that I don't realize how sharp my words are and how it can be so damaging... I was really upset, left the house and her standing there, drove my car and stopped at a nearby mall... I didn't know what to do... like usual when in this situation, first cry all you want and than pray! I did exactly that, walked in the mall aimlessly and suddenly a book caught my eyes... the title was, "Me and My BIG Mouth"! My first reaction was, hey I am not alone! I couldn't believe that someone could actually write a book like that... I took the book in my hands, slightly nervous... opened the first page... and i read " you can use your words to build someone or kill!" that was like a big blow in my head... wow this is what my sister was trying to tell me...
At that moment i made a decision, my words will only build someone! Till today I have lived by that rule and that was the last day someone ever told me that I had a big mouth!
Guess the most important thing is to accept where we are, our current situation or what ever that we are going through at the moment and than to seek some evidence to change our perspective and trust me, when our perspective changes, we not only will cross over that phase but we also will come out stronger! My best friend that has never failed to give me a new perspective at all time has been books. Books opened my window of possibilities and i realized my world changes with my perspective!
Live Your Best Life
It has been a hectic 72 hours in Medan and usually at times like this by the time I get to my room I can only hear my bed calling my name out loud but this time I took Robin Sharma's book and flipped and came to a page that caught my attention...
Robin Sharma in his book, 'Who Will Cry When You Die?' wrote: To live happier, more fulfilling lives, when we encounter a difficult circumstances, we must keep shifting our perspective and continually ask ourselves, "Is there a wiser, more enlightened way of looking at this seemingly negative situation?" Stephen Hawking, one of the greatest physicists ever, is reported to have said that we live on a minor planet of a very average star located within the outer limits of one of the hundred thousand million galaxies. How's that for a shift in perspective? Given this information, are your troubles really that big? Are the problems you have experienced or the challenges you might currently be facing really as serious as you have made them out to be?
We walk this planet for such a short time. In the over all scheme of things, our lives are mere blips on the canvas of eternity. So have the wisdom to enjoy the journey and savor the process.
Hhmm... this paragraph brought me back many memories... to say that my life has no challenges, it is really far from the truth but I am relatively a happier person than many others most of the time! Then I realized when I am down, doesn't matter what the cause might be... I continuously seek a new perspective! I have been doing this without even realizing it.
A particular incident that happened like 5 years ago came back to me... there was a day I had a real huge fight with my sister. It went a bit out of control and harsh words were exchanged! She said that I don't realize how sharp my words are and how it can be so damaging... I was really upset, left the house and her standing there, drove my car and stopped at a nearby mall... I didn't know what to do... like usual when in this situation, first cry all you want and than pray! I did exactly that, walked in the mall aimlessly and suddenly a book caught my eyes... the title was, "Me and My BIG Mouth"! My first reaction was, hey I am not alone! I couldn't believe that someone could actually write a book like that... I took the book in my hands, slightly nervous... opened the first page... and i read " you can use your words to build someone or kill!" that was like a big blow in my head... wow this is what my sister was trying to tell me...
At that moment i made a decision, my words will only build someone! Till today I have lived by that rule and that was the last day someone ever told me that I had a big mouth!
Guess the most important thing is to accept where we are, our current situation or what ever that we are going through at the moment and than to seek some evidence to change our perspective and trust me, when our perspective changes, we not only will cross over that phase but we also will come out stronger! My best friend that has never failed to give me a new perspective at all time has been books. Books opened my window of possibilities and i realized my world changes with my perspective!
Live Your Best Life
Sunday, July 18, 2010
You will continue to live
In last 2 weeks I found myself talking to God more... asking more questions and wanting more clarity in many aspects of my life... It all started 2 weeks ago, when one Sunday evening my childhood friend called me in the evening and said, he is with his mum in the emergency ward and she is going to be admitted again in the hospital...
I rushed to the hospital and i spent more then 2 hours that day talking to his mum whom i refer to as aunty... we talked about so many things from life, God, my exercise program to why i am still not married! You see, being born in an Indian home and still not married at this age is a taboo! Many usually have many reasons to why I am not married but she was the first person who looked into my eyes and asked me if i really want to be married... i couldn't give her an answer... seeing me not having an answer, she continued to talk... she said, you need to figure that out first...
I went home that day feeling a little different... still unable to figure out what was going on inside me but one thing for sure... i felt a deep sense of connection with her... before i could lay my head on my pillow that night, my friend called me again and said mum wants some particular biscuits and he is unable to find them and asked if i can help... without hesitation i said sure i will. The next day i found myself one more time next to her bed talking to her again... and this time she talked about her 3 children and her role as a mother... I have never had such conversations with anyone else...
Without me even realizing it... i started spending time with aunty and she became an important part of my daily activities. Organizing blood for her, visiting her, talking stories with her and doing little little things for her...
Last Monday 12th July, I went to see her again like usual during the break i get in between my meetings... the only difference this time was, she was weaker, couldn't talk, couldn't ask anything... i spent like 2 hours with her and at that time, many thoughts came into my mind... I kept asking God, why you brought her to my life at this time and now to see her this way it hurts so much... her son was with her this time and each time he left me alone with her i got scared... and i don't know why... when finally the time came for me to leave, it felt so heavy to go... again i didn't understand why... from the the time i left her room to my car, twice i wanted to come back to the room but again i told myself i can see her tomorrow and i should let her rest...
On Tuesday 13th July, I woke up in the morning at 9am with aunty and her son that is close to me in my mind... i sat on my bed without moving for 30 minutes and I wasn't sure what i was doing... it is very unlike me to spend 30 minutes on bed in the morning without doing anything. My body felt very weak but slowly i collected strength to pack my bag and head to the gym as i have my training at 10.30am. Just before i parked my car in the gym, I called auntie's niece that usually spends the night with her and i said hello and she said... mum didn't wake up in the morning... my tears rolled down my cheeks, my hands shivered and i couldn't hear anything around me anymore... I turned my car and i reached her home...
The next 30 hours i forgot who i was... all that was in my mind was to be a strength to her 2 sons that I hold very dear to my heart... my body knew nothing, no pain, no hunger, no sleep but every moment, my eyes and my heart only wanted to look out for them...
Finally, when everything was over, I went home... laid my head again on my pillow... I found the answer to the question she asked me on day one she was admitted in the hospital... yes aunty... I want to get married... i want to love someone more then i can love myself, i want to care for someone more then i care for myself, i want to bring children into this world and yes, i want to spend my time with them and molding them into beautiful people and most importantly now i see myself building a home and the pillar of that home is not the concrete pillars but my values...
Interestingly, I have know aunty since I was a little girl... 9 years old. She thought me in school... i feared her at that time, after many years, her son brought me back to her home but i didn't really get to know her and today she left the world and left me a gift that i will cherish for the rest of my life and it will be the foundation of my tomorrow...
Aunty... thank you for allowing me to know you... thank you for opening the doors to my heart which was locked for so long and you will continue to live in the tomorrow that i will build...
Live Your Best Life
I rushed to the hospital and i spent more then 2 hours that day talking to his mum whom i refer to as aunty... we talked about so many things from life, God, my exercise program to why i am still not married! You see, being born in an Indian home and still not married at this age is a taboo! Many usually have many reasons to why I am not married but she was the first person who looked into my eyes and asked me if i really want to be married... i couldn't give her an answer... seeing me not having an answer, she continued to talk... she said, you need to figure that out first...
I went home that day feeling a little different... still unable to figure out what was going on inside me but one thing for sure... i felt a deep sense of connection with her... before i could lay my head on my pillow that night, my friend called me again and said mum wants some particular biscuits and he is unable to find them and asked if i can help... without hesitation i said sure i will. The next day i found myself one more time next to her bed talking to her again... and this time she talked about her 3 children and her role as a mother... I have never had such conversations with anyone else...
Without me even realizing it... i started spending time with aunty and she became an important part of my daily activities. Organizing blood for her, visiting her, talking stories with her and doing little little things for her...
Last Monday 12th July, I went to see her again like usual during the break i get in between my meetings... the only difference this time was, she was weaker, couldn't talk, couldn't ask anything... i spent like 2 hours with her and at that time, many thoughts came into my mind... I kept asking God, why you brought her to my life at this time and now to see her this way it hurts so much... her son was with her this time and each time he left me alone with her i got scared... and i don't know why... when finally the time came for me to leave, it felt so heavy to go... again i didn't understand why... from the the time i left her room to my car, twice i wanted to come back to the room but again i told myself i can see her tomorrow and i should let her rest...
On Tuesday 13th July, I woke up in the morning at 9am with aunty and her son that is close to me in my mind... i sat on my bed without moving for 30 minutes and I wasn't sure what i was doing... it is very unlike me to spend 30 minutes on bed in the morning without doing anything. My body felt very weak but slowly i collected strength to pack my bag and head to the gym as i have my training at 10.30am. Just before i parked my car in the gym, I called auntie's niece that usually spends the night with her and i said hello and she said... mum didn't wake up in the morning... my tears rolled down my cheeks, my hands shivered and i couldn't hear anything around me anymore... I turned my car and i reached her home...
The next 30 hours i forgot who i was... all that was in my mind was to be a strength to her 2 sons that I hold very dear to my heart... my body knew nothing, no pain, no hunger, no sleep but every moment, my eyes and my heart only wanted to look out for them...
Finally, when everything was over, I went home... laid my head again on my pillow... I found the answer to the question she asked me on day one she was admitted in the hospital... yes aunty... I want to get married... i want to love someone more then i can love myself, i want to care for someone more then i care for myself, i want to bring children into this world and yes, i want to spend my time with them and molding them into beautiful people and most importantly now i see myself building a home and the pillar of that home is not the concrete pillars but my values...
Interestingly, I have know aunty since I was a little girl... 9 years old. She thought me in school... i feared her at that time, after many years, her son brought me back to her home but i didn't really get to know her and today she left the world and left me a gift that i will cherish for the rest of my life and it will be the foundation of my tomorrow...
Aunty... thank you for allowing me to know you... thank you for opening the doors to my heart which was locked for so long and you will continue to live in the tomorrow that i will build...
Live Your Best Life
Saturday, April 24, 2010
It's really a choice!
It has been almost a month I have stayed on track with my battle to reclaim my body and i must say it has been the best month after so long!
I graduated from the beginner in the gym to the intermediate level and to see my weight drop bit by bit every week surely puts a smile on my face and the best part is when ever i see myself on the full mirror... i see a different girl everyday!
For 15 years I lived thinking I will never be able to fight this weight battle and I am meant to be fat for the rest of my life and others should just accept me for who I am but today I can already see myself in swim-suits :)
Fighting my battle brought me back to the people around me... you see, I run a success academy. I am always faced with people who come to me and say, I wish things were different, I want more money, I want to be debt free, I want more time bla bla... but when I give them a program to follow they have another 1000 reasons why they can't make adjustment to their lives today!
After a month in the gym, training 5 times a week with my fitness coach, making adjustment to the way I have been eating and seeing the results, I am more then ever convinced that what ever in life you desire will be yours as long as you are willing to make enough modification to who you are today!
It is so true, the sky is the limit but the real question is how much are you willing to modify your life today for more? It is really a choice between settling for what you have today and fighting for what you want tomorrow!
Live Your Best Life
I graduated from the beginner in the gym to the intermediate level and to see my weight drop bit by bit every week surely puts a smile on my face and the best part is when ever i see myself on the full mirror... i see a different girl everyday!
For 15 years I lived thinking I will never be able to fight this weight battle and I am meant to be fat for the rest of my life and others should just accept me for who I am but today I can already see myself in swim-suits :)
Fighting my battle brought me back to the people around me... you see, I run a success academy. I am always faced with people who come to me and say, I wish things were different, I want more money, I want to be debt free, I want more time bla bla... but when I give them a program to follow they have another 1000 reasons why they can't make adjustment to their lives today!
After a month in the gym, training 5 times a week with my fitness coach, making adjustment to the way I have been eating and seeing the results, I am more then ever convinced that what ever in life you desire will be yours as long as you are willing to make enough modification to who you are today!
It is so true, the sky is the limit but the real question is how much are you willing to modify your life today for more? It is really a choice between settling for what you have today and fighting for what you want tomorrow!
Live Your Best Life
Sunday, April 4, 2010
My life is my best teacher!
Today I was watching Oprah on tv and coincidentally she was talking about loosing weight and she said people who are over weight are usually hungry for something in their life. Rarely people gain weight because they are hungry for food! She talked about herself and her weight battle... she said she realized her hunger for love was fulfilled with food!
That got me thinking... what am i hungry for and what have i been fueling with food? What am i craving for... This brought me back to a training I recently attended. During a process, I realized that since young I always had a feeling of emptiness inside... somehow this unknowingly has effected huge part of my life. Now, i realized i have been feeding this loneliness with food! This body of mine has suffered so much because of this... I am so grateful at this size and weight I am able to do so much!
Guess my recent desire to loose weight also came from the fact that i realized what was holding me back at the training. The moment I recognized that part of me and accepted that, my desire to take care of myself and to loose all the extra weight came almost effortlessly!
I was talking to my best friend about my new discovery and my friend sent me this message and it is really beautiful... After so long, this weekend I was alone at home and I really enjoyed every bit of it. I got so much work done and I actually woke up early to start my day! I can't remember when was the last time i had a meaningful weekend like this!
Message from my best friend...
When you have found yourself, being alone is a privilege, not a punishment.
All the good work that you do comes when you are alone.
All your dreams are dreamed alone.
Your best dreams are dreamed alone.
Your best ideas are conceived in solitude.
Your dream of a better world and the contribution you will make to it will also come when you are alone.
Your creation and inventions, your solutions to problems that most vex you, all come to you in isolation.
It is only when you are by yourself that you can be receptive to the stillness of your inner voice.
This is the voice that tells you what you need to know, the inner directive, the heart of your soul given word.
This solitude is the place from which your originality and specialness issue.
In your aloneness you hear music and see art most clearly. Only when you are alone can you receive the gifts the world presents.
In your aloneness you are in touch with the energy that runs the world.
It is the place where God speaks to you and where you become God.
The things you take from this place fortify your spirit with grace, forgive your ineptness, and fill you with new resolve.
Learn to love being with yourself. It is the highest place to which you can aspire!
To my best friend, thank you for always being there for me and always reminding me that my life is my best teacher!
Live Your Best Life
That got me thinking... what am i hungry for and what have i been fueling with food? What am i craving for... This brought me back to a training I recently attended. During a process, I realized that since young I always had a feeling of emptiness inside... somehow this unknowingly has effected huge part of my life. Now, i realized i have been feeding this loneliness with food! This body of mine has suffered so much because of this... I am so grateful at this size and weight I am able to do so much!
Guess my recent desire to loose weight also came from the fact that i realized what was holding me back at the training. The moment I recognized that part of me and accepted that, my desire to take care of myself and to loose all the extra weight came almost effortlessly!
I was talking to my best friend about my new discovery and my friend sent me this message and it is really beautiful... After so long, this weekend I was alone at home and I really enjoyed every bit of it. I got so much work done and I actually woke up early to start my day! I can't remember when was the last time i had a meaningful weekend like this!
Message from my best friend...
When you have found yourself, being alone is a privilege, not a punishment.
All the good work that you do comes when you are alone.
All your dreams are dreamed alone.
Your best dreams are dreamed alone.
Your best ideas are conceived in solitude.
Your dream of a better world and the contribution you will make to it will also come when you are alone.
Your creation and inventions, your solutions to problems that most vex you, all come to you in isolation.
It is only when you are by yourself that you can be receptive to the stillness of your inner voice.
This is the voice that tells you what you need to know, the inner directive, the heart of your soul given word.
This solitude is the place from which your originality and specialness issue.
In your aloneness you hear music and see art most clearly. Only when you are alone can you receive the gifts the world presents.
In your aloneness you are in touch with the energy that runs the world.
It is the place where God speaks to you and where you become God.
The things you take from this place fortify your spirit with grace, forgive your ineptness, and fill you with new resolve.
Learn to love being with yourself. It is the highest place to which you can aspire!
To my best friend, thank you for always being there for me and always reminding me that my life is my best teacher!
Live Your Best Life
My biggest personal battle
Recently, I got myself a personal coach to help me fight one of my biggest personal battles in my life - my weight!
You see, I have been over weight all my life! My mum said, she refused to carry me when I was a baby because each time she carried me, her hands will be swollen! I never heard my dad saying anything else to me except for... I need to exercise! I have always been very cautious what I wear or when I had to change for physical exercise even in primary school! I always had to wear a L or XL! I do not remember fitting into any other sizes!
I have tried occasionally to loose some weight but never got anywhere! So, some how recently collected some courage to sign up for a personal coach! It was a combination of my friends effort, some new realization about myself and probably the most important contributing factor would be... realizing I couldn't do it alone and I needed help!
The first day at class, like usual... the over alert me... turned up like 30 minutes earlier! I was too anxious... the 25 minutes wait in the car felt like the longest 25 minutes of my life! Finally, collected my stuff, walked few steps and there bumped into my coach in the car park... his warmth smile helped and I began to relax... he said, not to worry, today gonna be simple stuff... and I was thinking, how simple can it get in a gym!
I had to do some fitness test so he can gauge my physical level and can tailor a suitable program for me... we went from one step to another and then finally we came to the bicycle! He said i have 10 minutes and give all I have! I sat in that bicycle and the last I did this was like 14 years ago but somehow I felt so happy... and when I finished he said, in my experience no one in your weight, your size has done this timing with this speed for 10 minutes! He gave me that smile... and I know that smile... the smile that says... girl, you are not bad at all!
That day brought me back to 14 years ago when i was much lighter and used to enjoy mountain biking so much and I started the mountain bike club for my university and all this while I thought I have lost it! Today, I realized for no reason the fear has stopped me from claiming my energy, health and my fitness back! I enjoyed my first day in the gym so much that I couldn't wait to go back again! I committed to 3 months training with my coach to reclaim my life!
I left that day with a smile on my face because i know I already won my battle!
Live Your Best Life
You see, I have been over weight all my life! My mum said, she refused to carry me when I was a baby because each time she carried me, her hands will be swollen! I never heard my dad saying anything else to me except for... I need to exercise! I have always been very cautious what I wear or when I had to change for physical exercise even in primary school! I always had to wear a L or XL! I do not remember fitting into any other sizes!
I have tried occasionally to loose some weight but never got anywhere! So, some how recently collected some courage to sign up for a personal coach! It was a combination of my friends effort, some new realization about myself and probably the most important contributing factor would be... realizing I couldn't do it alone and I needed help!
The first day at class, like usual... the over alert me... turned up like 30 minutes earlier! I was too anxious... the 25 minutes wait in the car felt like the longest 25 minutes of my life! Finally, collected my stuff, walked few steps and there bumped into my coach in the car park... his warmth smile helped and I began to relax... he said, not to worry, today gonna be simple stuff... and I was thinking, how simple can it get in a gym!
I had to do some fitness test so he can gauge my physical level and can tailor a suitable program for me... we went from one step to another and then finally we came to the bicycle! He said i have 10 minutes and give all I have! I sat in that bicycle and the last I did this was like 14 years ago but somehow I felt so happy... and when I finished he said, in my experience no one in your weight, your size has done this timing with this speed for 10 minutes! He gave me that smile... and I know that smile... the smile that says... girl, you are not bad at all!
That day brought me back to 14 years ago when i was much lighter and used to enjoy mountain biking so much and I started the mountain bike club for my university and all this while I thought I have lost it! Today, I realized for no reason the fear has stopped me from claiming my energy, health and my fitness back! I enjoyed my first day in the gym so much that I couldn't wait to go back again! I committed to 3 months training with my coach to reclaim my life!
I left that day with a smile on my face because i know I already won my battle!
Live Your Best Life
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Time to play a different role!
Once again, more then a month passed without me finding a place in my heart to write! Guess this is the challenge with people like me who is so much driven by my heart :) but somehow today it just felt so right to put some thoughts to words!
Last 2 months have been a 'character building' months. I was tested, pushed beyond limits and most importantly was pushed to search for answers and every incident that took place prepared me for this phase of my life!
Today I called for my inner circle meeting and I asked them to list all the factors that are holding our organization from growing further. They listed a whole load of things... For the first time I did not contribute anything to the list. Then I got them to identify the top 3 issues that needs immediate attention and got them to pick owners of each new projects to work on our weaknesses!
For the first time today, I understood what is the meaning of removing myself from the picture! The energy in the room just felt so right and I also saw now my inner circle identifying themselves with our organization! Probably today it was no longer Kalai's organization but it was theirs!
Finally, I had to admit that me being a dominant leader will not take our organization any further then it is already today! Time to play a different role and time has come for our organization to take a leap!
Live Your Best Life
Last 2 months have been a 'character building' months. I was tested, pushed beyond limits and most importantly was pushed to search for answers and every incident that took place prepared me for this phase of my life!
Today I called for my inner circle meeting and I asked them to list all the factors that are holding our organization from growing further. They listed a whole load of things... For the first time I did not contribute anything to the list. Then I got them to identify the top 3 issues that needs immediate attention and got them to pick owners of each new projects to work on our weaknesses!
For the first time today, I understood what is the meaning of removing myself from the picture! The energy in the room just felt so right and I also saw now my inner circle identifying themselves with our organization! Probably today it was no longer Kalai's organization but it was theirs!
Finally, I had to admit that me being a dominant leader will not take our organization any further then it is already today! Time to play a different role and time has come for our organization to take a leap!
Live Your Best Life
Sunday, February 7, 2010
My 'old' friend...
Couple of hours ago I just finished a presentation in one of the Hotels in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah. For those who do not know... Sabah is a state in Malaysia that is located in the Borneo Island!
An 'old' friend of mine was called to close the night. I have known this gentleman for almost 6 years, we had some casual conversations but never really had anything deeper then that. today the moment he took the stage he caught my attention! You see, very few impress me on stage and I must say he caught my attention from the beginning. He told his story and i was mesmerized! Every word was profound and it was perfect! I haven't seen something like this for some time! I was shocked... why is it a different person in front of me today? How come I never recognized this before... and the best part, after he finished, i sat there for sometime still floating in his words!
At that moment, I realized it was my ego that has stopped me from getting to know this 'old' friend of mine for so long! Many times we sat together but i never took an effort to get to know him. Today I reminded myself, everyone has a story to tell and everyone has something to offer and it is me who needs to grow to be able to recognize and appreciate that! Yes, it makes sense now, it is never about the other person, it has to be about my growth!
Today I pledge to make another change to the way i have been seeing people! I will take time to get to know who ever that crosses my path! No matter how small or irrelevant they might appear as it is not a co-incident that our paths have crossed!
To my 'old' friend... my apologies... it took me so long to know you! I am glad our path crossed and I stayed back for tonight's presentation :)
Live Your Best Life
An 'old' friend of mine was called to close the night. I have known this gentleman for almost 6 years, we had some casual conversations but never really had anything deeper then that. today the moment he took the stage he caught my attention! You see, very few impress me on stage and I must say he caught my attention from the beginning. He told his story and i was mesmerized! Every word was profound and it was perfect! I haven't seen something like this for some time! I was shocked... why is it a different person in front of me today? How come I never recognized this before... and the best part, after he finished, i sat there for sometime still floating in his words!
At that moment, I realized it was my ego that has stopped me from getting to know this 'old' friend of mine for so long! Many times we sat together but i never took an effort to get to know him. Today I reminded myself, everyone has a story to tell and everyone has something to offer and it is me who needs to grow to be able to recognize and appreciate that! Yes, it makes sense now, it is never about the other person, it has to be about my growth!
Today I pledge to make another change to the way i have been seeing people! I will take time to get to know who ever that crosses my path! No matter how small or irrelevant they might appear as it is not a co-incident that our paths have crossed!
To my 'old' friend... my apologies... it took me so long to know you! I am glad our path crossed and I stayed back for tonight's presentation :)
Live Your Best Life
Friday, February 5, 2010
Another painful truth!
I just discovered another painful truth about myself today.... phew, where shall i begin? This is worth writing down...
Yesterday night I was talking to my better half and for something, he said, " why do you always have to be extreme? It is either this or that... why can't it be a middle path?" hhmm... that caught me by surprise! Really, do I do that all the time? I don't know :( So, I just brushed it a side and moved on with my day...
Today I was on sms with my best friend and this friend is more like my 'mirror', the hardest on me... never had the fear to tell me the ultimate truth! After exchanging few messages, my best friend suddenly said, "why do you always have to have the upper hand and decide on everything and want it your way?" wow this caught me off gut! I quickly picked up the phone and had a good 20 minutes chat with my best friend...
I finally had to admit another painful truth... yes, I am a 'control freak'! Me wanting the extreme and always wanting the final say or the upper hand... has to do with me wanting to be in control! Not being in control is like i have lost the game.... hhmm, now why do i have to win the game?
I have decided to take one step at a time and to let go and to allow the universe to do its work! Yes, i am going to enjoy this new phase of my life...
Live Your Best Life
Yesterday night I was talking to my better half and for something, he said, " why do you always have to be extreme? It is either this or that... why can't it be a middle path?" hhmm... that caught me by surprise! Really, do I do that all the time? I don't know :( So, I just brushed it a side and moved on with my day...
Today I was on sms with my best friend and this friend is more like my 'mirror', the hardest on me... never had the fear to tell me the ultimate truth! After exchanging few messages, my best friend suddenly said, "why do you always have to have the upper hand and decide on everything and want it your way?" wow this caught me off gut! I quickly picked up the phone and had a good 20 minutes chat with my best friend...
I finally had to admit another painful truth... yes, I am a 'control freak'! Me wanting the extreme and always wanting the final say or the upper hand... has to do with me wanting to be in control! Not being in control is like i have lost the game.... hhmm, now why do i have to win the game?
I have decided to take one step at a time and to let go and to allow the universe to do its work! Yes, i am going to enjoy this new phase of my life...
Live Your Best Life
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Time to grow again!
Recently, I was thrown out of balance by a personal challenge. At the point when it came right hitting my face, i wasn't sure how to react...
I wanted run away, cry, take it on everyone around and everything came running into my head and blood started rushing through my body and I could feel the heat around me... but then came a strong inner voice that took control and demanded for calmness!
I sat down... not sure what it was! Then I realized everything that I needed to know to handle this situation is already in me... I told myself, its time to grow again girl... to be stronger, more grounded, to draw myself closer to God and most importantly to put all that I know to use!
I took control of myself, started focusing on everything I know and guess what, instantly i felt lighter and my direction became clearer!
Guess this what growth is all about. Challenges will always be there but as we 'grow up' we learn to handle challenges better and each time we are faced with a heartbreak, a wall, what ever we call it... time to grow into another level! I also realized, having faith in our creator makes the growth faster and easier and helped me to accept the challenges although i rather do without it!
So, let me go and take care what within my control and shall allow Him to do his part :)
Live Your Best Life
I wanted run away, cry, take it on everyone around and everything came running into my head and blood started rushing through my body and I could feel the heat around me... but then came a strong inner voice that took control and demanded for calmness!
I sat down... not sure what it was! Then I realized everything that I needed to know to handle this situation is already in me... I told myself, its time to grow again girl... to be stronger, more grounded, to draw myself closer to God and most importantly to put all that I know to use!
I took control of myself, started focusing on everything I know and guess what, instantly i felt lighter and my direction became clearer!
Guess this what growth is all about. Challenges will always be there but as we 'grow up' we learn to handle challenges better and each time we are faced with a heartbreak, a wall, what ever we call it... time to grow into another level! I also realized, having faith in our creator makes the growth faster and easier and helped me to accept the challenges although i rather do without it!
So, let me go and take care what within my control and shall allow Him to do his part :)
Live Your Best Life
Monday, January 11, 2010
Happy New Year!
10 days has passed since the world ushered the brand new year... if i don't find time and most importantly a little place in my heart to write soon these 10 days will be 10 months and my passion for writing will be history :)
A new year begins with a new spirit, a new energy and how could we forget the many new resolutions! Just like many other new years that I had, this year I got my year started with the list of things that i want to accomplish or let me put it as a list of must do things for 2010! As i was writing my list and evaluating my last year I realized it is not so much on how much I can do today to make my new resolutions a realty but it is more to how little i can do everyday to keep my commitment longer another day!
This year I have started doing things differently. I made sure last 10 days had a little share everyday towards my new and renewed goals. Everyday I renew my commitment and prolong my commitment to another new day! Surprisingly, last 10 days I have done more then any first 10 days of the year that I ever had before! Looks like it is really about how little i could do everyday towards my new resolutions! I know my 2010 will be a different one! I pray that yours will also be a year that will bring the best out of you! Happy New Year!
Live Your Best Life
A new year begins with a new spirit, a new energy and how could we forget the many new resolutions! Just like many other new years that I had, this year I got my year started with the list of things that i want to accomplish or let me put it as a list of must do things for 2010! As i was writing my list and evaluating my last year I realized it is not so much on how much I can do today to make my new resolutions a realty but it is more to how little i can do everyday to keep my commitment longer another day!
This year I have started doing things differently. I made sure last 10 days had a little share everyday towards my new and renewed goals. Everyday I renew my commitment and prolong my commitment to another new day! Surprisingly, last 10 days I have done more then any first 10 days of the year that I ever had before! Looks like it is really about how little i could do everyday towards my new resolutions! I know my 2010 will be a different one! I pray that yours will also be a year that will bring the best out of you! Happy New Year!
Live Your Best Life
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