Wow I did it again... many months passed without writing! Maybe the Twitter and Facebook to be blamed as I get to write my thoughts from time to time... but one thing for sure, it has been a ride of life time!
My heart got broken... not only by a boy but many different things... My organization took to another phase, opened new markets, lost weight, gained weight, lost again... tripped and fell, stood up high, took a leap, conquered another phase and reached another height... phew!! Everything in last 6 months... my 6 months looks like 6 years... good or bad... I don't know... at least I constantly looking younger :))
Recently I was talking to a group of people and suddenly I said, challenges only stops when you are 6 feet under the ground. I said it jokingly... as an answer to their question but later when I thought about it, it is so true... do challenges actually stop? No they don't! The only thing that will change is the way we look at them.
For me when something happens, it means time to change, time to move forward, time to change direction, time to change strategy, time to take another leap, time to conquer greater heights and most importantly... it's a call for growth!
One thing that helps me to move forward is to go back to the drawing board and look again at my goals, my vision of tomorrow and what the end result I want. I always live in 2 worlds, the world of tomorrow, what I what and the world of today, what I have to do. When I don't know what I have to do today, I look at my tomorrow's world and then I come back to today... I will know what to to today... somehow, somewhere, I will just know where to begin!
I have accepted, I am work in progress. Guess, i will always be work in progress and I'm grateful today that constantly when I forget that I am work in progress... I always get that call for growth!
Live Your Dreams
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
My own limitations!
Yesterday I received a call from a very dear friend... that call triggered a flood of emotions in me that I never even knew I had!
Just a simple truthful chat with someone that I respect, admire and hold very dear to my heart... left me with no choice than to touch the very inner core of my emotions....
For a moment I asked myself, is this necessary, do I have to breakdown now! I have been holding on pretty well but why suddenly the feeling of loosing control...
Than quickly I told myself, this is Divine design for me to be at this junction but what I do with this sudden outburst of emotions is my choice...
I sat down after that chat, collected myself and allowed my thoughts to wonder a little... it brought me back to our chat and i thought about what this special friend said, "if you have inside you every strength to make your visions a reality, the limitation that is holding you back is also inside you..." and with a loving voice, this friend continued... "you can do so many things others are unable to achieve, but what is it that you are struggling on? Get help on that specific area...".
I collected myself, got dressed, I looked at myself on the mirror... I look so good... I had to speak to a group of 50 people that night... I drove to the venue... before I got out of my car, I told myself, these 50 people who are waiting to listen to me tonight, deserve my best! I will have so much fun tonight that they will only get the best out of me... I had good fun! It was a beautiful night.... they benefited!
After that, I sat with 2 of my key leaders in Malaysia and I was having a chat on our plans for the next 5 weeks in Malaysia and I couldn't help but my thoughts went back to my chat in the morning with my dear friend... than it suddenly hit me, my key leader in Malaysia that I have been trying to work with for last couple years is everything that I am not good at... I have been trying for so long to find a way to really come together because I know this leader of mine has almost equal or more strength than me but we always see things from very different angle and tonight I understood this is the answer to my prayer!
I have someone in my team who is so powerful, who does everything I can't do and here I have been sitting so long wondering what to do with this person and tonight everything came together... as for the first time this leader also saw me as a compliment! Yes, we complete each other in the circle of leadership, system building, relationship strengths and coming together could just give us the strength of a 1000!!
I have always been looking everywhere else to complete me and didn't realize the answer was within my organization! So, guess the whole emotion trigger yesterday morning was to arrive at this point! I more than ever now, trust Divine design and I too understood yesterday that my delays are only because of my own limitations...
Yes, my delays are caused by my own limitations!
Live Your Best Life
Just a simple truthful chat with someone that I respect, admire and hold very dear to my heart... left me with no choice than to touch the very inner core of my emotions....
For a moment I asked myself, is this necessary, do I have to breakdown now! I have been holding on pretty well but why suddenly the feeling of loosing control...
Than quickly I told myself, this is Divine design for me to be at this junction but what I do with this sudden outburst of emotions is my choice...
I sat down after that chat, collected myself and allowed my thoughts to wonder a little... it brought me back to our chat and i thought about what this special friend said, "if you have inside you every strength to make your visions a reality, the limitation that is holding you back is also inside you..." and with a loving voice, this friend continued... "you can do so many things others are unable to achieve, but what is it that you are struggling on? Get help on that specific area...".
I collected myself, got dressed, I looked at myself on the mirror... I look so good... I had to speak to a group of 50 people that night... I drove to the venue... before I got out of my car, I told myself, these 50 people who are waiting to listen to me tonight, deserve my best! I will have so much fun tonight that they will only get the best out of me... I had good fun! It was a beautiful night.... they benefited!
After that, I sat with 2 of my key leaders in Malaysia and I was having a chat on our plans for the next 5 weeks in Malaysia and I couldn't help but my thoughts went back to my chat in the morning with my dear friend... than it suddenly hit me, my key leader in Malaysia that I have been trying to work with for last couple years is everything that I am not good at... I have been trying for so long to find a way to really come together because I know this leader of mine has almost equal or more strength than me but we always see things from very different angle and tonight I understood this is the answer to my prayer!
I have someone in my team who is so powerful, who does everything I can't do and here I have been sitting so long wondering what to do with this person and tonight everything came together... as for the first time this leader also saw me as a compliment! Yes, we complete each other in the circle of leadership, system building, relationship strengths and coming together could just give us the strength of a 1000!!
I have always been looking everywhere else to complete me and didn't realize the answer was within my organization! So, guess the whole emotion trigger yesterday morning was to arrive at this point! I more than ever now, trust Divine design and I too understood yesterday that my delays are only because of my own limitations...
Yes, my delays are caused by my own limitations!
Live Your Best Life
Sunday, March 13, 2011
I quit...
Laying on my bed in my bedroom that is done exactly the way I wanted it as a little girl on a Sunday afternoon... it just feels perfect to put some thoughts to words...
I have a wall in my room dedicated to faces that are huge part of who I am today, filled with things that are already a part of me right now and pictures which will be a part of me soon... I can't help it but to allow my mind and heart to wonder...
As a little girl I was called hyperactive, while I was growing up I was the troublemaker, as a teenager I was disobedient, when I left home to University I was the black sheep of the family.... I was constantly getting into trouble, I was the misfit, mismatched... what ever you call it! At work, I was the one that constantly looking for something else, getting into trouble... I will oversleep most of the mornings as I could never fall asleep at night... my brains were working so hard when everyone was sleeping! The song Manic Monday by Bangles was sang especially for me and that was my story every morning!
I just couldn't fit in... Finally, I was called the crazy one, the unrealistic one, and my family warned the younger ones to stay away from me...
To look back those years, those days... they were the exact reason that saw the birth of my organization NorthStar, that craziness and unrealistic me is who created NorthStar Africa and contributed to 1000s of people living a different life today... that is the same girl that flew to East Malaysia and made 1000s of people listen and follow her and even to the remote areas of long houses... I made a difference... that is the same crazy girl who packed her bag and roamed India for 4 months and came back and till today i still treasure that trip as my best spiritual journey i ever done! I did Eat Pray and Love even way before the book was written...
Last couple of years, somehow I got entangled with the world around me and became very careful, I wanted to fit in, I became realistic and lost my craziness crown and guess what... my results were just so ordinary and plain... Lately, I kept asking myself what changed...
Finally I call it a quit! Yes, I quit... I quit becoming ordinary, I quit fitting in, I quit being realistic, I quit being normal! Once again, I reclaim my craziness crown and I am back on the crazy adventure as that is the only way to live my best life!
Live Your Best Life
I have a wall in my room dedicated to faces that are huge part of who I am today, filled with things that are already a part of me right now and pictures which will be a part of me soon... I can't help it but to allow my mind and heart to wonder...
As a little girl I was called hyperactive, while I was growing up I was the troublemaker, as a teenager I was disobedient, when I left home to University I was the black sheep of the family.... I was constantly getting into trouble, I was the misfit, mismatched... what ever you call it! At work, I was the one that constantly looking for something else, getting into trouble... I will oversleep most of the mornings as I could never fall asleep at night... my brains were working so hard when everyone was sleeping! The song Manic Monday by Bangles was sang especially for me and that was my story every morning!
I just couldn't fit in... Finally, I was called the crazy one, the unrealistic one, and my family warned the younger ones to stay away from me...
To look back those years, those days... they were the exact reason that saw the birth of my organization NorthStar, that craziness and unrealistic me is who created NorthStar Africa and contributed to 1000s of people living a different life today... that is the same girl that flew to East Malaysia and made 1000s of people listen and follow her and even to the remote areas of long houses... I made a difference... that is the same crazy girl who packed her bag and roamed India for 4 months and came back and till today i still treasure that trip as my best spiritual journey i ever done! I did Eat Pray and Love even way before the book was written...
Last couple of years, somehow I got entangled with the world around me and became very careful, I wanted to fit in, I became realistic and lost my craziness crown and guess what... my results were just so ordinary and plain... Lately, I kept asking myself what changed...
Finally I call it a quit! Yes, I quit... I quit becoming ordinary, I quit fitting in, I quit being realistic, I quit being normal! Once again, I reclaim my craziness crown and I am back on the crazy adventure as that is the only way to live my best life!
Live Your Best Life
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Now, Discipline, Consistency and Intensity!
One thing that my dad has instilled in me is the habit of reading and continues search for excellence... I am forever grateful for dad who has been my first teacher and his strictness gave me no other choice than to make books my best friend!
This continues search for wanting to be better, later part of my life led me to a group of people who believed living life to the fullest. Again, I was put in an environment that gave me no other option than to strive to be the best I can everyday... and this is where my real search for answers began...
Recently, the topic 'Live in the present' kept coming back to me... as I kept asking myself what do I do to take myself to the next level... You see, I am a very imaginative and creative person... at times too imaginative that it works against me...
What can I do, blame it on my piscean nature... :)
I picked a book accidentally during my last trip that totally talked about it, read it, great book, I moved on, also have been meeting some wise friends who talked about it... again, good to listen, I listened and I moved on... met a friend for lunch yesterday who said, I should let go and live in the present... interesting, again we are here... so what do I do... like usual, listen and continue with my day to day activity...
While I was driving back after the meeting with friend, something in me reminded me of the 'Live in the present' again... could this be the answer I am looking for... so, what do I do? Read another book... talk to another friend... scream... jump... ignore... what now?? While all these questions playing in my head, my hand picked up my phone and called another friend who has been huge part of me lately and these friendship happened by divine design I call it... I met this friend later for casual catch up and while talking to this friend, I realized it was like talking to myself... some where, some how, that conversation threw me off balance... the confusion and pain hit me again! I know this feeling... this is the exact feeling that demands for change!!
I left this friend, spent sometime with myself, recollected myself and yes, I know clearly now, I need to let go of the past, stop controlling tomorrow and live in the present! Finally i am beginning to understand, it makes no difference where I come from... who I am today is not who I was yesterday and I will never know who I will be tomorrow but today is all I have to live this day to the fullest...
I also understood, when I seek or ask questions, answers are everywhere but usually I choose not to see it... at this point, He has no other option than to instill pain and to force me to act... guess, pain is really not a bad thing after all and without pain, I will not have these intensity I have today... and the moment I learn my lessons the pain goes away and what seems hopeless suddenly feels hopeful and its a nice feeling... :)
So, my new year resolution... live today to the fullest, its NOW, DISCIPLINE, CONSISTENCY and INTENSITY! Happy 2011!
Live Your Best Life
This continues search for wanting to be better, later part of my life led me to a group of people who believed living life to the fullest. Again, I was put in an environment that gave me no other option than to strive to be the best I can everyday... and this is where my real search for answers began...
Recently, the topic 'Live in the present' kept coming back to me... as I kept asking myself what do I do to take myself to the next level... You see, I am a very imaginative and creative person... at times too imaginative that it works against me...
What can I do, blame it on my piscean nature... :)
I picked a book accidentally during my last trip that totally talked about it, read it, great book, I moved on, also have been meeting some wise friends who talked about it... again, good to listen, I listened and I moved on... met a friend for lunch yesterday who said, I should let go and live in the present... interesting, again we are here... so what do I do... like usual, listen and continue with my day to day activity...
While I was driving back after the meeting with friend, something in me reminded me of the 'Live in the present' again... could this be the answer I am looking for... so, what do I do? Read another book... talk to another friend... scream... jump... ignore... what now?? While all these questions playing in my head, my hand picked up my phone and called another friend who has been huge part of me lately and these friendship happened by divine design I call it... I met this friend later for casual catch up and while talking to this friend, I realized it was like talking to myself... some where, some how, that conversation threw me off balance... the confusion and pain hit me again! I know this feeling... this is the exact feeling that demands for change!!
I left this friend, spent sometime with myself, recollected myself and yes, I know clearly now, I need to let go of the past, stop controlling tomorrow and live in the present! Finally i am beginning to understand, it makes no difference where I come from... who I am today is not who I was yesterday and I will never know who I will be tomorrow but today is all I have to live this day to the fullest...
I also understood, when I seek or ask questions, answers are everywhere but usually I choose not to see it... at this point, He has no other option than to instill pain and to force me to act... guess, pain is really not a bad thing after all and without pain, I will not have these intensity I have today... and the moment I learn my lessons the pain goes away and what seems hopeless suddenly feels hopeful and its a nice feeling... :)
So, my new year resolution... live today to the fullest, its NOW, DISCIPLINE, CONSISTENCY and INTENSITY! Happy 2011!
Live Your Best Life
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)